me.

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 20:18:17 GMT

Dear Laura:

Thanks for applying to the Peace Corps. We look forward to reviewing your application.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 23:02:25 GMT

The first number is the crime rate in toledo (Per 100,000 people). The second number is the national average. Wish me luck :/

Overall Toledo Crime Index 8676.2, 4479.3

Toledo Violent Crimes 1147.4, 553.5
Toledo Murders 11.6, 7
Toledo Rapes 56, 33.1
Toledo Robberies 413.7, 205.8
Toledo Aggravated Assaults 666, 336.5

Toledo Property Crimes 7528.9, 3906.1
Toledo Burglaries 2292.4, 813.2
Toledo Larceny/Thefts 4388.8, 2601.7
Toledo Motor Vehicle Thefts 847.7, 501.5

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 04:22:46 GMT

"i'm sorry"...

just isn't fucking good enough

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 19:22:37 GMT

Day 2 back from Bonnaroo

overwhelmed with ache and exhaustion
a few shades darker
moving about a constant mental haze
too in love to function

it feels very strange to spend the afternoon alone

Numbers

Sun, 17 May 2009 01:52:53 GMT

11 hours of driving

8 hours of David Sedaris talking at me from my stereo

18 hours in West Virginia

1 king size bed

1 in-room jaccuzi

1 hotel room resident (when asked if I had the card the room was booked on, I got to say, "no, my company paid for the room")

1 graduation

1 boring speech from Michael Phelps' mom... boring because she didn't talk about the achievement of hers that made her famous

2 hours of wrist shattering camera-holding / recent grad herding

...

One sleepy/accomplished me

First road trip alone, first hotel room alone, first West Virginia in general

It feels momentus, at least worth recording

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 02:49:45 GMT

I really enjoyed Crystal's visit, even though I got a little too uppity about showing her every possible thing. We had some good talks. Old friends bring great comfort.

In other news..

Must resist urge to be needy.
Must resist urge to be needy.

My body pillow will be cuddles enough tonight.

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:11:33 GMT

must become less neurotic

must become less neurotic

must become less neurotic

also...

really enjoying company of old friends in montreal

will turn 23 tomorrow

happy birthday, Tristan

"photo a day" starts back up today, probably only on facebook

nearly avoided encountering Jason and the new girl

will fly back to the nati tomorrow

with lots to think about

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:38:34 GMT

No more grandfathers left

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:04:39 GMT

Hey anonymous comment poster (julia?)...

sign your comments with your name (please).

thanks!

-me

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 05:23:44 GMT

Update-

rabidly unpacked

no mice

only creaky dance dance revolution mat

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 04:35:29 GMT

Woke at 8 am to run around making cupcakes... that few at dinner cared to eat.

Left for Columbus, for an introduction to a second job that I don't need, but could certainly use.

Slammed on my brakes in the left lane of the highway as traffic stopped for an accident. The car following too close behind me had to swerve into the shoulder to avoid hitting me. It made me nervous.

My boxes arrived from Toronto today. They make me nervous too. They wreak of Jason, our expired love. I think of him packing it all up, watching someone else take it away, and it makes me ill with regret that I handled things so poorly, so cowardly.

My belongings creak like the mice that creeped around our summer home and now I'm too afraid to unpack them alone in the middle of the night. I have to wait for another almost two hours for Brian to get home from his gig.

I hate living so terrified.

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 03:31:32 GMT

I don't like knowing that the only things (besides work) separating me from waking and sleeping were a bit of a workout, wasting time between appointments in kentucky, scarfing leftovers, and an episode of grey's anatomy.

that's better than yesterday where it was 5 minutes of the Obama interview on the tonight show (the president of the united states on the tonight show? yeah... pretty nuts. leno thought so too) and a bunch of snuggles.

tomorrow I find myself wondering how I'm going to go to the store, buy the ingredients for cupcakes (including guinness... how early do they sell that in ohio anyway?), make cupcakes, get on the road to columbus by 10:30, and get back just in time for supper.

i'm overwhelmed and underwhelmed simultaneously.

Salsa

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 03:21:48 GMT

I have a pathetically exaggerated anxiety about authority. I woke from an evening nap to hear my roommate and my landlord talking about whether or not they thought I was home. I heard my landlord say, "I really want this to get done tonight." I panicked. This is my week to clean the kitchen. He was probably furious that I had even left it to today, let alone hadn't made a move to start. I crept down the stairs to find my roommate leaving to go salsa dancing. Apparently, my landlord was just explaining why he didn't want to come along... he had something he wanted to get done tonight.

I felt embarrassed.

I immediately cleaned the kitchen.

I wanted to go salsa dancing, but the thought of moving my car exhausts me.

Also, Brian asked me not to salsa dance with anyone else. He doesn't want some other guy's hands on me.

Salsa dancing was our first date together, two days after we met, and it ended with a soft kiss in the middle of a close and slow dance.

I just don't like the idea of being the type of person who turns down plans to: get some work done for tomorrow (I do hate the mornings..), clean the kitchen, and randomly pass out at 8 pm.

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 05:26:25 GMT

Wish I could sleep alone with indifference.

Must practice.

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 16:31:32 GMT

So, my new job is with Our365 portraits. They're the company that takes photos of babies in the hospital and they have an extension service where they take photos of 1 month-3 yr old kids at their home. After the photos are taken, I get them, make an appointment, do some editing and collaging, and go out to the house to show/sell them to the parents. It combines my three great loves: photos, babies, and people. It's commission-based pay, but I'm not stressed about it because baby pictures are something people frequently buy (especially if they've already had a photographer out to their home). It's pretty good money too, on top of being casual and fun (and not governed by a terrifying boss lady).

It's been good so far.

I'm packing for mardi gras today. We're leaving early tomorrow from Brian's house and leaving poor Twink in the airport parking lot. He's playing a gig at a grocery store for black history month this morning, which amuses me because no one in his band is black except for the rappers, which is pretty stereotypical.

Last night when I got home from work (at 9 pm, bleh), there were a bunch of people gathered in the kitchen and we all went out to our neighborhood bar around the corner to play shuffleboard and pool (and drink too much beer). I really really like these people that surround me.

Good people, good boy, good job, good family, good life.

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 03:03:40 GMT

New job starts tomorrow. I'll describe it when there's something to describe (though I'm cautiously optimistic)

The thought of having visitors (Karen, then Crystal) elates me.

Stoked about the new orleans trip, both seeing Raph and the Mardi Gras crazyness. People keep reminding me about the rampant nudity. This may well be the wildest party I'll ever attend. Good thing the boy's buying the drinks.

Tue, 10 Feb 2009 17:44:46 GMT

I have no valentine's day related inspiration

makes me feel like a bad girlfriend :(

boo present giving

especially when i'm busy with his bday gift. stupid boy and his february bday

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:00:23 GMT

Making decisions makes me sick.

How am I supposed to know what's best when "ideal" shifts daily and I'm so effectively influenced by what other people think?

Why does deciding whether or not to go to Cincinnati for half a week have to be so monumental?

This sinking feeling in my stomach needs to go away. I need to stop being so unemployed... WAY too much thinking time.

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 07:10:20 GMT

I figured it out. I would really like to be someone's girlfriend today.

I want someone to be obligated to call.
I want someone to sleep beside.

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 04:23:33 GMT

I feel an uncomfortable aching in my stomach. Do I ache for Jason? yes. Do I ache for other boys? probably yes as well.

This is why people ought to stay single (single = alone, rather than around) for a while post-breakup.

Not allowing myself to be alone when I needed it has left me even more alone.

And I don't know how to make it go away. But, for some reason, I don't feel as though I need to.

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 09:52:19 GMT

So, I've been spending *counts on fingers* at least 6 hours a day (since yesterday) madly working on my election season scrapbook. It was such a moving, life changing experience, that I want to capture it all properly. (This involves painting and scraping and all sorts of artsy crazyness)

It's way more scrapbook + journal than usual.

And also way more personal.

Less "event X" "event y" more "breaking up with jason" and "crazy drama at work" and "various boys..."

I think I may print color copies for far away friends to look at, if they're interested... I don't know. I feel really open and free about my feelings these days.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:38:47 GMT

Congratulating Steve at 3 am last night didn't make me believe it was true.

Checking CNN this morning allows me to finally accept it.

"Here are highlights of other races from Tuesday with projected winners:

• Democrats gained at least two seats in Ohio, including that of Rep. Steve Chabot, who was seeking an eighth term in a Cincinnati-area district that normally votes about evenly for GOP and Democratic presidential candidates.

CNN projects that Chabot lost to Democrat Steve Driehaus. Just two years earlier, Chabot was re-elected with 52 percent of the vote despite an anti-Republican tide that helped Democrats capture Ohio's governorship and take a U.S. Senate seat."

Helllllllllllll yes.

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 08:48:22 GMT

Got both her candidates elected.

Barack Obama, president of the United
States.

Steve Driehaus, congressman.

I'm flipping out right now... running on many many hours of work and two hours of sleep. I'm sitting in the dark and sobbing to myself at 3:45 am.

We won.

We won.

We did this in Ohio.

I helped to do this.

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 02:49:48 GMT

If I didn't think he'd see it, my facebook status would be, "doesn't want to be alone right now"

Laura doesn't want to be alone.
Laura wanted time to take care of someone's cat while they're away.
Laura wanted dinner before midnight.
Laura wanted the time (although clearly not the will) to do laundry.

...

Laura's a selfish brat who's not working hard enough to get her guys elected.

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 05:51:31 GMT

Halloween late night blasting Britney in the ghetto,

drinking miller light from cans,

eating token pieces of candy,

singing and laughing,

bundling a truck full of literature into 100 piece stacks,

to pack into our cars, and bring into our offices as we scatter around the city,

out at 1, up again at 6:45

I'm overwhelmed and excited

knowing this thing is nearly finished.

We will win.